We've all been there, that moment in the grocery store when your toddler is throwing themselves on the floor in a frenzy, or at the dinner table when they refuse to eat anything but dessert. What do these scenarios have in common? You, as the parent, feeling completely out of control.
You've tried timeouts, reward charts, and the firm "Because I said so!". You might have even tried the most common tactic: taking things away to get them to behave. Yet, you're still left feeling exhausted, disconnected, and, if we're being honest, a little bit like you're failing.
When parents reach this point, they often start looking for outside help. Someone might recommend a parenting coach, but many don't know exactly what it is that we do.
What is Parent Coaching?
At a glance, parent coaching is a partnership that shifts the focus from child behavior modification to parental growth and emotional regulation. By understanding brain development and nervous system regulation, parents can transition from authoritarian control to a relationship built on mutual trust and respect.
It's Not About "Fixing" Your Child
Most people assume a parenting coach is like a sports coach for their kids. They imagine someone who comes in, snaps their fingers, and "fixes" the bad behavior. They expect a behaviorist who will provide a new set of consequences to finally make the child comply. That is not what parenting coaching is.
In my practice, Parenting Guide, we take a strategic and different path. We do not focus on child behavior modification. Instead, we focus on the parent's growth and emotional regulation.
Why? Because children are not "bad" or "manipulative" by nature. Usually, "misbehavior" is child's nervous system reacting to a lack of safety, a developmental gap, or a broken connection with their primary caregiver.
A Guide for the Parent's Journey
As a coach, I am a partner in your transition from the "old way" of parenting, the authoritarian, control-based model, to a "new way" rooted in conscious parenting. My goal is to help you move toward a relationship with your children built on mutual trust, respect, and acceptance.
Here is what that looks like in our sessions:
- Understanding Brain Development: We look at what is actually happening in your child's developing brain so you can stop taking their outbursts personally and you can adjust your expectations for success.
- Nervous System Regulation: We work on your ability to stay calm. You cannot co-regulate with your child if you are dysregulated yourself. You will learn to bring your calm into any difficult moment.
- Nonviolent Communication: We shift how you express yourself so your child feels seen and heard, which naturally reduces power struggles and promotes cooperation.
- Interpersonal Neurobiology: We use science-backed tools to help you understand the "why" behind your own triggers and soften them over time.
Why This Works
As your parenting coach, I prioritize proactive approaches over reactive ones. Instead of constantly "putting out fires," we work on the foundational relationship with your child. When you prioritize the parent-child bond and your own emotional regulation, the "behavior problems" often begin to dissolve on their own.
You are not only raising a child, but you are also raising a future adult. The work you do on yourself today is the greatest gift you can give to their future self.
And before I let you go, let me answer a question I get asked all the time:
Q: What is the difference between behaviorist and a parent coach?
A: A behaviorist focuses on consequences to change child's actions, while a parent coach focuses on the parent's internal growth and the foundational relationship to solve the "why" behind the behavior.
